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Used to be that when you arrived at OR Tambo Airport (the main airport in Johannesburg, and the main port of entry into the country) you’d pretty much be stuck. If you were silly enough not to arrange a shuttle transfer, or book into a hotel with a complimentary shuttle, that is, as people tend to do when they hail from countries with actual public transport systems. So there you’d be, after a 14-hour flight or so, choosing between paying a king’s ransom for a metered cab or, well, or nothing. That was pretty much it.

Until early June 2010, when the ambitious Gautrain finally came into action. It’s part subway, party above-ground train, but half of its purpose in life is to transport you to and from the airport, and in considerable style too.

Trust us, there’s just no comparison. The trip between Joburg airport and Sandton – which is almost certainly where you want to go – can take anything up to three hours by car, thanks to a badly overloaded freeway system. The Gautrain airport express does the same thing in 12 minutes flat, thanks to a top speed of 160 kilometers per hour, conveniently, safely, and pretty damn cheaply too. It’ll change your entire experience of Johannesburg.

The Gautrain waiting for it's first ride.

The seats on the train are very comfy.

Four things need to know about the Gtrain:
* The last run is at 8:30pm every night. Yes, we also think that is silly, and we’re working on them to institute a night service.

* In peak hours, morning and afternoon, there is a train every 12 minutes. The rest of the day your maximum wait will be 20 minutes, and on weekends it goes up to 30 minutes.

* There is a direct run to Sandton, the posh area with the most hotels in the whole country, and the most expensive ones too. Other routes will be opening up soon, including one into the heart of the capital, Pretoria. Bus networks use the stations as nodes, so you can get pretty much anywhere you are likely to need to go.

* It is the safest and cheapest way to escape the airport. Seriously. You’d have to spring for a very luxurious taxi indeed to beat the air conditioning, and nothing short of a helicopter transfer will move you faster.

Details of pricing and routes can be found at the official Gautrain site.

Maropeng is a miniature theme park disguised as a museum of  anthropology. Human remains are the centrepiece, but this is not a bizarre as it may sound. If fossils are your thing, you definitely need to get there, but even if you are just vaguely interested in the history of the world, and your own (ancient) heritage, it is worth the trip of about 40 kilometers from downtown Johannesburg.

Australopitheicus sediba

Maropeng means “returning to the place of origin” in Setswana, and that is more than just marketing hyperbole. Remember, the region it is in, the Cradle of Humankind, has a pretty solid claim to be where modern mankind first emerged. Which is why it has the not inconsiderable status of being a World Heritage Site.

Any half-decent tourist map will list it, and any half-decent tourist establishment will be able to arrange transport there. If you have a 4×4 vehicle handy, you can get there via more scenic dirt roads, but the cheapest hire car will also do. You won’t have much trouble finding the entrance; it is guarded by seven monoliths that will just about make you hear the sound of drums and the opening to ‘Thus spake Zarathustra’.

The building that houses the entrance and some other stuff (most of the complex is underground) is similarly appropriate, if just a little creepy. Calling it a giant burial mound would be fair, but it is more appropriately referred to as a tumulus. That’s the kind of thing you’ll learn on one of the guided tours, which is worth hooking up with for a little while before you peel off to wander about on your own.

Tumulus at Maropeng

There is a theme to the whole place, and there are replicas of the famous Mrs Ples and Little Foot fossils found at the Sterkfontein Caves. But that’s not the good part. The good part starts with the boat ride (light splashing allowed), and the vortex thingey. Like a ride at any good amusement park – or a walk-through, as in this case – a strong stomach is required. If you have a problem with vertigo, do the smart thing and use the cowardly escape route.

Having braved the waters and the tunnel, you arrive at the display halls with their made-for-kids interactive exhibits. There are great big buttons for you to press and lots of moving parts and, if you insist, a vast amount of information to be had from videos and graphics. The choice is yours: light entertainment or serious education, or maybe something in between.

Ironically, the fossils seem to be the least interesting of all the exhibitions. Dry bones just aren’t that exciting, no matter how you display them. But whatever you do, don’t leave without talking to the Dodo.

Talk to a Dodo at Maropeng.

You can do the whole Maropeng thing in about three or four hours, including driving time, but if you have a whole day available it’s worth buying a package entry and also going to the nearby Sterkfontein caves.

The Maropeng Visitor Centre is open to the public from 09h00 to 17h00 every day.

Standard entry fee:

Adults: R105
Children (4-14 years): R60
Pensioners/Students: R75 (on production of a valid pensioner/student card)

The combination Maropeng/Sterkfontein tickets are only available until 1pm, so don’t leave it too late if you want to do both.

The price of these are:
Adults: R175
Children (4-14 years): R102

Maropeng
Tel: +27 (0) 14 577 9000
http://www.maropeng.co.za/
GPS co-ordinates: 25°40′39.07”S, 27°55′32.01”E