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Potjiekos is one of those dishes that started out as utilitarian and developed into an art form that now has a life of its own, long after the original constraints were removed. A lot like one of our other favourites: biltong.

With potjiekos the constraints were fire and cooking containers. The introduction of the three-legged cast iron pot, the potjie, was a boon for all kinds of South Africans. These pots are virtually indestructible, which is handy if you are semi-nomadic like the early Afrikaners and a lot of local tribes. They are relatively easy to clean (if not by modern, teflon-tainted standards) and they can be used to make a wide variety of dishes.

They were also just expensive enough to keep the average family from coveting more than one or two. Also, as you’d know if you’ve ever roughed it for more than a couple of days, keeping a fire going takes work. When you have to gather your own fuel you don’t want to make for of it than is strictly required, especially if you’re stuck on the savannah where you are bang out of luck once you run out of cow dung to burn.

These two factors created a preference for one-pot cooking. Traditional Afrikaners and groups from just about every black tribe can make an amazing number of things in a single potjie. Potjiekos is simply the most impressive.

So what is it? It’s stew, if you want to be impolitely harsh about it. Potjiekos is the combination of a meat (beef, chicken or venison, traditionally) with a hefty dose of onion, potato and assorted other vegetables of your choice, although the use of broccoli is frowned upon.

The secret, or the open secret at least, is that you never, ever, ever stir a potjie. When it comes off the fire it should be perfectly layered so that you need a long spoon and good technique to dish it out properly. Stirring before completion is a sin punishable by raised eyebrows and a generally cool demeanour.

That is why a good potjie is such an art. It requires the perfect choreography of fire (not too hot, not too cold), ingredient selection and absolutely exquisite timing.

The end result is something that straddles stir-fry, boiling and steaming, with distinct individual notes contained within an overall harmonious symphony. Basically, you have to try it, especially as it doesn’t contain anything you haven’t eaten a million times before and therefore requires absolutely no culinary adventurism.

In theory you can buy decent potjiekos from a select few restaurants, but for the genuine article, cooked for at least four hours with constant vigilance, you need to find a male Afrikaner, preferably over the age of 45, who has developed his own unique take on the preparation – including some secrets that he will not share with his own mother.

In major South African cities you can buy any of the following items by simply winding down your window and handing over the cash.

(List correct at time of publication. Stocks may be limited and items available may vary with time and actual intersection visited. No returns or refunds. Warranty void on purchase. Goods may be stolen and/or counterfeit. Prices may vary according to prevailing weather conditions, phases of the moon and visual indications of gullibility relating to the purchaser. Caveat emptor.)

* Rubik’s Cubes
* Globes of the world
* Maps of the world
* Illegally copied DVDs, and occasionally CDs
* Golf balls
* Wrist watches
* Wall clocks
* Cellphone car chargers
* Bows and arrows (strictly ornamental, not recommended for actual hunting)
* Fruit
* Big black refuse bags
* Plastic clothes hangers
* A large variety of beadwork art (and keychain holders)
* Biltong
* Newspapers, educational children’s books, printed lists of jokes and other dead-tree products
* Sunglasses
* Pens
* Umbrellas
* Vibrating massage pillows
* Coca-cola (and assorted other soft drinks)
* Wall-hanging shoe organisers

Update:
Additional suggestions have been coming since this list was first posted. The one’s we’ve been able to verify to date are:
* Soccer balls
* Toe socks
* Super Glue
* Flower bouquets

You may also be interested in 15 things you can buy at the side of the road in South Africa (although you’ll have to pull over and may even have to get out of your car.)

It’s cured. Dried. Preserved using what is typically a closely-guarded mixture of herbs and spices in a vinegar solution. And it’s called biltong (pronounced with equal emphasis: the piece of paper that tells you how much you owe + the clamping device used in food-preparation, typically found in the kitchen). It is one of South Africa’s most universally enjoyed delicacies, and speaking ill of it in public will earn you derision at the very least.

Biltong has a long and splendid history; it kept many an early white settler alive as they trekked through the mountains in their ox wagons. But it hasn’t been a white thing for a long time (as long as black people have been able to afford it, anyway). You can find the proof at any sufficiently high-end corporate function, one with the little tables dotted everywhere with bowls of peanuts and whatnot on them. If one of those bowls contains sliced biltong then it will be mobbed and cleaned out within seconds of the guests being let at it. In fact, you’d be hard pressed to keep the staff from pilfering it before the doors are even opened.

Yes, those really are all of the ingredients. No added MSG; that makes it health food, right?

South Africans have more kinds of biltong than you can shake a stick at, and arguments between aficionados of different types can easily flare up into holy war, so beware. The most common, and cheapest, is beef; the country is awash in cattle and red meat is cheaper here than anywhere outside of South America. In the race for national favourite, however, it is a close tie between Springbok and Kudu, with Gemsbok and Eland tied for third and fourth.

You can find biltong literally anywhere, thanks to the mass production of recent years and the distribution to 24-hour garage shops in convenient snack-sized packs. And you can trust those packets in the garage shops; those manufacturers are closely watched by the retailers, who know their stuff. But for the the best biltong you want to find yourself a specialty retailer. Almost any decent-sized mall will have a little biltong kiosk somewhere, with the goods sold by weight and open for you to make your own selection. Most have knowledgeable staff too.

The other variation, aside from the type of meat, is the form factor. You’ll find pre-prepared packs that are sliced, chunked or in what are known as “TV sticks”. At better retailers you’ll also find the whole slabs as they are cut and dried and velle or skins, which are big pieces sliced so thinly as to be transparent.

If you don’t love chilli in all its forms it may be best to steer away from the “chilli bites” or similarly named types, though. Those bastards can pack one helluva punch. Droëwors (dry sausage; don’t even try to pronounce it) may also not be your friend unless you like fatty stuff. It’s good, but it’s not everybody’s cup of tea.